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Gail Collins: A back-to-school presidential quiz

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Gail Collins is a columnist for the New York Times.

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By Gail Collins
The New York Times

Monday, September 11, 2017

Summer is so totally gone. We move on toward chilly weather, falling leaves and ... wow, Donald Trump is still president. What ever happened to change when you really need it?

But you’ve been paying attention anyway, right? Good concerned citizen. Take this quiz to see how much you remember.

1. On Labor Day Trump sent out a tweet vowing, “We are building our future with American hands, American labor, American iron, aluminum and steel.” It also included a picture of the president and the first lady, who was wearing ...

A. American iron, aluminum, steel.

B. A dress from Italy.

C. The very same outfit she wore on her first date.

2. At a recent rally, Trump told the audience, “I always hear about the elite,” and he added ...

A. “Until recently, I just thought it was a modeling agency.”

B. “Our best and brightest come from every race and ethnicity.”

C. “They’re elite? I went to better schools than they did. I was a better student than they were. I live in a bigger, more beautiful apartment. ...”

3. During the great solar eclipse, our president ...

A. Stared into the sun without protective glasses.

B. Gave a lesson to a group of third graders about the rotation of the planets.

C. Told a group of visiting ambassadors it was an American invention.

4. According to a transcript of the call, Trump told the president of Mexico that he won the New Hampshire primary because ...

A. “They thought Tom Brady was my cousin.”

B. “New Hampshire is a drug-infested den.”

C. “I pretended to like their damned town halls.”

5. The president said he wants his wall on the Mexican border to be transparent because ...

A. “Transparency is what this administration is all about.”

B. Americans need to be able to avoid being hit on the head by 60-pound bags of drugs.

C. “Good neighbors should be able to wave hello to one another.”

6. A government report estimated that if the Department of Homeland Security wanted to meet Trump’s target for new Border Patrol hires, it would have to ...

A. Employ a lot of Dreamers.

B. Advertise heavily.

C. Screen 750,000 applicants.

7. At a press conference shortly after the tragedy in Charlottesville, Trump asked reporters ...

A. “Have we ever had a more urgent need for national unity?”

B. “How could anyone imagine something this terrible happening?”

C. “Does anyone know I own a house in Charlottesville?”

8. During “Made in America Week,” Trump’s resort at Mar-a-Lago ...

A. Offered free drinks to anyone employed at an automobile factory.

B. Announced it would be making its chocolate cake with homegrown cocoa.

C. Applied for visas to hire 70 foreign workers.

9. Asked about Vladimir Putin’s decision to expel 755 workers from the American Embassy, Trump responded ...

A. “I want to thank him, because we’re trying to cut down on payroll.”

B. “Every one of those people is going to be re-employed constructing a big, beautiful, enormous Trump Moscow hotel that will, um, never mind.”

C. “Who did what?”

10. When Trump was visiting with French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife, he turned to Brigitte Macron and said ...

A. “I see we both have much younger spouses.”

B. “You’re in such good shape.”

C. “Did you know I really won the popular vote?”

11. On his way to the Macron meeting, Trump defended his son Donald Jr.’s questionable meeting with a Russian lawyer by saying: “Don, he’s a good boy. He’s a good kid.” Some observers felt it was a strange answer because ...

A. Everybody calls the son Junior.

B. White House sources had just reported that Junior had been punished for the meeting with an early curfew and no allowance for a month.

C. The “kid” is the very same age as the president of France.

12. In a speech to the Boy Scouts, the president ...

A. Talked about liberty, loyalty and the importance of the Scout oath.

B. Bragged about winning the election and told a long story about a friend who had bought a big yacht.

C. Claimed to have earned 1,300 merit badges.

13. After the Boy Scout event, Trump ...

A. Made up a story about how the head of the Scouts told him “it was the greatest speech that was ever made to them.”

B. Announced he was becoming a Scout master himself.

C. Demanded that the CIA prove it was the largest crowd of Boy Scouts in the history of the world.

ANSWERS: 1-B; 2-C; 3-A; 4-B; 5-B; 6-C; 7-C; 8-C; 9-A; 10-B; 11-C; 12-B; 13-A

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